A Moment In Time

There are moments in our lives as parents we will remember forever.  Yesterday was one of them.  Last spring, my friend's five-year-old son was diagnosed with leukemia and we began to pray for sweet Jack, a little boy my kids have never even met, all the way in Maryland.  Each night when they say their bedtime prayers, they ask God to help Jack feel better.  They frequently ask me how he is doing and were so excited when I told them his cancer was in remission.  In kids' terms:  the medicine was working and Jack was getting better.

Late last summer my oldest son decided he wanted to grow his hair out.  He is really into Star Wars and wanted to look like Anakin Skywalker.  As his hair grew longer, I would catch him admiring his locks in the mirror and the day it hit his shirt collar, he proudly proclaimed he did, indeed, look like Anakin.  While we supported him in his quest to become a real-life Anakin, we told him he would have to cut his hair for the summer.  He was disappointed.

A few months ago I shared an organization called St. Baldrick's with him.  This event happens nationwide and is a fundraiser for childhood cancer research.  We talked about Jack and how this event helped kids, like Jack, who have cancer.  After a little encouragement my son decided he would shave his head at a local St. Baldrick's event.  He set a $500 fundraising goal and began asking family and friends to support him.  The week before the event, he surpassed his goal by $15.  He was so proud and excited that he had met his goal.

Yesterday afternoon I went downstairs to gather the kids so we could get ready to head to the event.  The minute I said it was time to go get his head shaved, my sweet little boy began to cry and before long he had worked himself into quite the fit.  The reality that the hair he had grown out for so long was going to be shaved off was hard for him.  He loved that long hair and was so sad he would no longer look like Anakin.  He had made the decision he was not going to go.  We wondered if maybe this was just too much pressure for our introverted, anxious son, but we didn't give up.

My husband and I each took our turns talking with him.  We told him he was doing an amazing thing for other children and his heart would feel so full when he was done.  We talked about following through on the promise he had made to others through his fundraising efforts.  We shared the encouraging messages he had received from those who donated money.  We talked about the children with cancer who were very ill or had passed away from the disease and how those children didn't get a choice about the way their hair looked.

We finally got him to agree to go and check the event out.  When we arrived, his heels were still firmly dug into the ground.  We got into the event room and he realized he would be seated in front of a crowd while getting his head shaved and his resistance bumped up another notch.  We continued to encourage him and did our best to be patient and stay calm.  And then it happened.  He started to ease up a bit.  The nervousness and anxiety started to lighten.  I asked him if there was something special he would like to do if he got his head shaved.  He thought about it and said, "I'd like to use my gift card and get something on Amazon."  Deal.

In my heart, I want my children to help others without receiving anything in return, because it's the right thing to do.  Perhaps my expectations are too high for children so young.  My son was doing a great deed for others.  He had raised a lot of money and was parting with something very special to him:  his Anakin Skywalker hair.  He wasn't asking for anything over-the-top.  He just wanted us to take the time to sit down with him, look through Amazon, and choose something to spend his birthday gift card on.  This seemed reasonable, so we agreed.

All of the anxiety, nervousness, and uncertainty went away.  He proudly put on his t-shirt and walked up to his seat when his name was called.  When the stylist started shaving his hair off, he didn't even flinch.  My sweet son sat in that chair longer than any of the other shavees in his time slot.  He had so much hair it took a long time for her to shave it all off!  People in the crowd cheered him on, he got some high fives from others, and even found himself on the local ten o'clock news.

When she was done, my son looked at us with a big smile and his proud mama had tears in her eyes.  I cannot tell you how full my heart was to see my young son struggle and persevere.  He fulfilled his promise to those who supported him in his fundraising campaign and I could see from the look in his eyes that his heart was full, too.  When he was done, he went over to a poster displaying photos of local children with cancer.  He looked at those pictures and he knew what he had done was going to make a difference.

Today I sent my newly shaved son off to school.  He was proudly wearing his bright orange St. Baldrick's t-shirt and a button that said, "Ask me why I'm bald."  He'll tell his friends he had his head shaved to help kids with cancer.  He'll also share with them he did it for a very special little boy named Jack.

We did sit down last night and look through Amazon.  He chose a Star Wars Jedi costume.  I think it will be the perfect reminder of his St. Baldrick's experience.

    

Progress

The end of March is right around the corner and with that a quarter of 2015 will have passed.  Those cold winter months weren't wasted in our house and we hope to have a little spring in our step now that the weather will (hopefully) be warming up.  I've continued to keep notes in my "Get It Done" notebook and have enjoyed crossing off some of the "to-do's" in various categories.

I had high hopes around our house during the month of March.  My spring cleaning got off to a banging start, but amid the countless cases of strep throat and life's many unexpected twists and turns my efforts got derailed a bit.  I'm not throwing in the towel yet, after all I still have a few more days in March left, but I'm okay with the progress, though imperfect, that I made.  In due time this house will be decluttered and cleaned well, but until then I'll be content with accomplishing what my time allows each day.

I think the biggest area of progress during these first few months has been on the financial front.  After committing to finally utilizing a budget and focusing on the steps found in Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover, I am thrilled that my husband and I have moved on to step 3.  We are officially debt-free (other than our mortgage of course) and moving on to building up our six month savings.  We are both pretty ecstatic about our progress the past few months and are looking forward to the next step of the journey.  Our budget is going well and it has been amazing how less-stressed we are about money.  We know where our money is going and what a difference it has made.

I'll wrap it up with one other area I am so pleased has shown progress:  relationships.  By intentionally scheduling time for this area, we have been able to spend time out with our friends, both together and alone, gone on date nights, taken our kids on some fun, but simple, outings, and, gasp, I even snuck away for a night to attend the Hearts at Home conference with a few girlfriends.  While there is still room for improvement in this area, some serious progress has been made and it has been fun and refreshing.

So, cheers to three months into the journey of "2015: The Year to Get It Done."  Hoping this next month holds many bright, warm, and sunny days and the opportunity to set some goals and achieve them.  Good luck!

A Little Perspective

Perspective.  As individuals, our circumstances and experiences allow us to have a perspective that might differ from others.  In fact, two people can see and experience an identical situation and have two very different views and accounts of what happened.  Perhaps this has happened to you and lead to some misunderstanding, or even a fallout, with another person because of these differing views. You see, it is so very easy to jump to conclusions, judge another, or feel inferior to those whose perspectives on life we simply don't understand because we have not lived life through their eyes. We have not walked a mile in their shoes and, therefore, cannot fully appreciate their unique perspective.

I think it is fair to say many people assume the surface impression they have of a person is indicative of their life behind closed doors.

-Live in a nice house in a nice neighborhood?  They must be rich.
-Stay at home with your children?  They must have a lot of free time on your hands
-Out on a date with your spouse?  They must have a good marriage.
-Receiving assistance from the government?  They must be lazy.
-Always smiling?  They must have no problems.

While these are just a few examples of how we may perceive someone's life to be from the snapshot impression we have of them, the truth may be much different.  We cannot understand another's circumstance without walking in their shoes.  We cannot truly know someone by only scratching the surface.  We cannot assume to know someone's story by hearing second-hand accounts.

While I am certainly not hear to say I have never judged a book by it's cover, I am hear to tell you that the book may look very different on the inside than you could ever imagine.  The family with the nice house may have sacrificed the extras and worked really hard to save up money for years to be able to afford that home.  The stay-at-home mom may have very little time to herself between the responsibilities she has taking care of her family, managing the home, and giving of her time to help others.  The couple out on the date may be fighting for their marriage and working on forgiveness. The person in need of government assistance may have lost a job they held for years, be facing mounting medical bills due to illness, or lost their partner.  The person who is always smiling may be wearing a mask to hide the pain and heartbreak they are experiencing.

We simply never know what another's circumstance may be and oddly enough, those circumstances can change at the drop of a hat.  While we cannot control what happens from one day to the next, we can make the choice let our pre-conceived notions about others go.  We can choose patience, understanding, and empathy rather than anger, irritation, and judgement.  If given the opportunity, we can reach further than the surface and take the time to really get to know people.

I encourage you to reach out to one person this week, take the time to ask them how they're doing, and really listen.  Inquire about their interests.  Ask them about their family.  Set aside what you think you know and you may be surprised to find something entirely different lies beneath the surface. Your perception of them may change and with any luck, it will be the beginning of a change that will bring much joy and peace to your life.

  



 

The Struggle to Just "Be"

What if we removed all of the unnecessary extras from our lives?  Would we feel more relaxed, less stressed, and more at peace or would the opposite occur?  Would we feel unsettled, more stress because we're missing out, or dare I say, lost, because we're not running ourselves to the bone?  It's an experiment worth exploring and an idea that's being weighing heavy on my heart for the past few weeks.  What if I reduced the amount of "stuff" I fill my days with and instead concentrate on just a few things.

Today I came across this post on the epidemic of busyness.  We're so accustomed to being busy that not having anything to do causes us to feel uncomfortable.  How sad.  I am just as guilty as the next person at being busy, though much of my busyness occurs within the walls of my home.  Truth be told, I am a bit of a homebody, at least during the day.  I have a difficult time sitting still and feeling content just "being."  I can sit and happily read for hours, but I have a hard time just sitting...period.

So, what gives?  How am I going to un-busy my life.  For the meantime, I am going to take a step back and let go what doesn't have to be done.  While I take great joy in expressing my thoughts through writing, I am going to continue to take a step back and write once a week, at most.  Though I am itching at the bit to start a new business venture, I am going to wait until all is good on the home front and the timing is right.

Instead, I am going to focus on my family, my home, my well-being, and my charity.  Sounds a little selfish, "my, my, my," but in my eyes, it is so very unselfish.  To be happy, content, and fulfilled, I need to focus on my husband and children.  I need to create a home that is peaceful and simple.  I need to take care of my physical health, spend time with my friends, and reflect on ways to re-energize and refresh.  Lastly, I need to tend to the activities and networking that needs to be done to ensure our charity continues to grow and serve our community.

I think it is safe to say all of the aforementioned activities will take time, but it will be time well spent.  By nature I am a go-getter.  It hard for me to slow down, but it is time to pull the pedal back a bit and let some things go.  It is time to re-train the brain and simply enjoy "being."

  

The Big Picture

Getting it done encompasses so much more than just the physical act of completing something on the to-do list.  It involves taking risks.  Stepping outside of your comfort zone to resolve past discretions. Acknowledging your shortcomings and those areas in which you are strong.  Searching within the very depths of yourself to figure out your goals and dreams.  Being intentional with your time and grateful for the blessings you have in your life.

It is taking the time to feel, really feel, what brings you joy and sadness.  To understand what makes you come alive and what leaves you feeling absolutely drained.  It is about accepting the beauty in the mess, while cleaning out the clutter, on all levels, that does not bring you joy and fulfillment.  It is about embracing a less-is-more mentality and treasuring what makes the cut.  It requires listening to those recurring thoughts and following the direction your heart strings pull you toward.

It is about sitting down and reflecting on what is important in life. To focus on our priorities and tune out the noise.  To take time to connect, really connect, with those we hold near and dear.  It is about scheduling time to be alone to rest and pursue our passions, as well as carving out time with our spouse, friends, and family.  It is about cherishing the little things and finding pleasure in the mundane.  To slow down and appreciate life rather than running the race to nowhere.

When it comes down to it, "2015: The Year to Get It Done" is about living.  Truly embracing the life we have been given and putting forth our best effort each day to show love to others and fulfill our purpose.  To use our talents and time to bless others and follow in His ways.  To make the most of the limited amount of time we walk this Earth.  For when our days are through, the physical possessions and the wealth we have accumulated will not hold a candle to the experiences we enjoyed and the relationships we developed and nurtured throughout the years.  

What are you waiting for?  Spread your wings and fly.  Go out there and get it done...

Find the beauty in life...it's all around you.

Patience is a Virtue...I Don't Come By it Easily

Gah, I've neglected my blog for a bit, but for good reason.  I've been getting it done, engrossed in some books, and maneuvering my way through the business of life.  It is so very hard for me to stay focused at times, because my brain is always five steps ahead of where I currently am.  At times it is frustrating as I wish I could just be more content with the present, but at other times it's a good thing because it gives me direction and doesn't leave me feeling stagnant.

My house cleaning, organizing, decluttering project is moving along pretty well.  Tackling the kitchen first was a big task as there was a lot to be done.  The first donation box went out today and there will be others where that came from.  It feels good to sort out our belongings, part with what we can donate, and set aside items I will sell at a garage sale this spring.  We could use some more vacation money, so we'll give it a shot!

Much of my "spare" time has been spent brainstorming about my new business venture idea and my charity.  Both require a lot of time, but will hopefully yield fruitful results in the near future.  I would love to use my skills to bring in some extra dough to help meet our financial goals.  I think if I'm patient, thoughtful, and persistent, I can get this idea to pan out and be on my way to doing just that. There are times I wish I could rub that genie bottle and my wish would be granted, but the life lessons that come with waiting and problem-solving are priceless.

So, here we are at March already.  Are you feeling like you're getting it done so far in 2015 or are you struggling through this long and cold winter?  I am looking forward to a surge of energy once the warm temperatures arrive and I can hit the pavement running.  I've got some cute summer pants waiting for me in my closet (I found them all today while sorting through it!).  Maintaining an in-home workout program is just about impossible given there are kids around me most of the day.  I never thought I'd say I'm looking forward to getting up early and going for a run.  Long winters will do that to you I suppose!

Now, work on that patience and persistence and good things will happen.  I promise!