As a mom, staying on course can be a real challenge, especially when our lives are all cluttered up with an abundance of outside noise, expectations, and the demands of raising a family. It feels as if each time I devise a concrete plan, set my goals, and work to achieve them, I get derailed and once I do, it is hard to get back on track. Some of the circumstances are out of my control, but other times it is simply my inability to focus.
One day my good friend asked me what I meant when I suggested tuning out the "outside noise." To me, outside noise consists of these factors in our environment that may be unwanted and cause us to feel overloaded and overwhelmed: unsolicited opinions and advice, time-sucking activities, and all of those things we "think" we should be doing, but have no desire to do and only entertain them due to societal pressure.
Outside noise simply creates a lot of unwanted static in our minds and we need to do our best to tune it out in order to live a fulfilling and purposeful life. If we don't, we'll find ourselves swimming upstream and feeling angry, frustrated, and stressed.
Trying to live up to everyone's expectations is also a surefire way to sink the ship. One of the hardest and most stressful transitions I have experienced during the last decade of my life has been accepting that not living up to other's expectations when they don't coincide with your vision is okay.
I have found this to be the most difficult when it comes to our extended families. As a new wife and young mom, I found myself running around like crazy doing my best to please them. This was especially true during the holidays. We would haul our kids from place to place, get very little sleep, and when it was all said and done, it was guaranteed most or all of us would end up sick once we got back home. The holidays, a time intended to be filled with joy, had become incredibly stressful and draining.
As I grew older and our family continued to grow, I really struggled to do this year after year. Finally, it all came to a head and my husband and I had a heart-to-heart talk about letting go of those expectations and doing what was in the best interest of our family. We agreed that in the end, our family of six comes first and we will make the best decisions for our family regardless of the expectations that have been set. It doesn't always go over well with others, but in the end we know we are making the right decision. This was a very big and important step for us and has paved the way in our decision making process ever since.
The same can be said about the expectations we feel pressing down on us in our every day lives: the committees we should join, the activities we should provide for our kids, the food we should prepare for our families, the way we should dress...the list goes on and on. They can be so draining and distracting, but with some discipline and learning to say, "No," we can stay the course. I am learning to listen my gut. If I feel hesitant and unsettled about an opportunity, I simply decline. No excuses, no guilt. Just, "No."
Ultimately, life's demands are likely our biggest distraction. Kids, husband, outside commitments...they all add up. Finding time to see a project through can be a challenge, but if it's something we truly want, we will find a way to make it work.
We just need to focus and rid our lives of as many distractions as possible (the husbands and kids have to stay!). This is easier said than done, but with some conscious effort and a little life makeover, progress can be made.
Today is International Women's Day. I don't really get into all of these days of (fill in the blank), but this one happens to resonate with me. I have a few really big dreams (to grow From Cover to Cover in a big way and write a book) I would like to become a reality and deep down inside I know nothing really stands in my way except myself.
I am going to vow to Break Busy, let go of the doubt and fear, and FOCUS on the steps I need to take to make this a reality. I know with utmost certainty my current purpose in life is to help make a difference in the lives of kids not only in my community but all over this country. My job is to get books in their hands and create programs to help them further develop their literacy skills, while raising awareness about the need to improve the quality of education for those living in poverty. My purpose is to give these kids some hope and a better opportunity to succeed.
It sounds like a massive undertaking, but it lies heavy on my heart. Time to tune out the outside noise, let go of expectations, and effectively manage my time and the demands of everyday life.
My motto? "Be the change you want to see in the world." (Gandhi) One day, one opportunity at a time.
One day I will be the co-founder of a national charitable organization and I'll write to tell about it.
#OneDayIWill
