Lenten Reflections

Lent has officially begun.  If I'm honest, I am not the best Catholic when it comes to following the rules of Lent.  I do my best to not eat meat on Fridays and Ash Wednesday, but I'm horrible about fasting between meals.  I've already failed miserably and it's only been one day!  I found myself profusely apologizing to God each time I ate in between meals.

I know we are supposed to give something up for these forty days, but each year I find myself struggling to figure out what that would be and ultimately I end up giving up nothing.  Instead, I try to focus on doing good deeds, sharing God's word with my children, praying more, and being mindful of the way I parent my children.  In my eyes, this will be much more difficult than giving anything up.

It challenges me to be aware.  To be intentional with our mealtime and my quiet time during the day. It requires me to seek out opportunities to serve others and be more patient and loving at home.  As a family we will grow in our faith and, if all goes well, be mindful of treating each other with kindness and respect.

If there is one area I would love to grow in this year, it is teaching my children more about God.  Our kids pray each night and at dinner, we share and record our blessings most days, and we attend church fairly regularly, but we have a lot of room to grow in our faith.

During Lent I want to make sure we are sharing His word with the kids.  Dinnertime seems like the best opportunity, so we read a story from our Children's Bible and it is now prominently placed in the middle of our table as a reminder to be read each evening.  Each morning before school, we also read from our Every Day Blessings Devotional, which we've done since school started in the fall.  I love the idea of starting and ending our day centered around God.

I am hopeful we will all grow spiritually during Lent this year and start some new traditions as a family that will carry on long past this season.

6 Weeks to a Decluttered, Cleaned, and Organized House

Who's up for a challenge?  The season of cold temperatures and snow continues to rage on, so how about a little project to pass the time and get some serious it done?!  Do you look around your house and feel irritated by the clutter, disorganization, and all of the little cleaning projects you put off?  You've come to the right place!

Join me in a 6 week challenge to get the house decluttered, cleaned, and organized.  Each day we will spend between 30 and 60 minutes working on a specific area of the house and move through the entire house in 6 weeks.  The house will be in tip-top shape right in time for the beautiful weather that is bound to come.  Think spring!

Our time is precious and we are going to make the most of this short stretch of time.  Some days it may be hard to focus on a specific task, but by setting a realistic amount of time aside each day to tackle this project, success is guaranteed.  Want to make it a little more fun?  Make some fun playlists that will keep you singing along and flood you with fun memories.  Who says this has to be boring?!

To help you stay on track and some helpful tips, make sure to like The Year to Get it Done Facebook page and join in our 6 Weeks to a Decluttered, Cleaned, and Organized House event.  We will create a supportive group to share our progress and pump each other up when we want to throw in the towel.

The first room we're going to tackle is the kitchen.  As the hub of most houses, we want our kitchens to have a peaceful aura.  We will work through cleaning and decluttering first and then move on to organization.  When we're all done we'll have a fantastically clean kitchen and an awesome mission control system in place to keep our families organized and our countertops clear.

In Blackeyed Peas style, "Let's Get it Started!"

Birthdays Bring a Gentle Reminder

Sunday brought another birthday for my oldest son.  They seem to come so quickly and I don't like it!  Every time one of my kids has a birthday I find myself thinking of the long hours leading up to their birth and it makes me wish I could turn back the time.  Seeing each of my kids for the first time was just so amazing.  There are simply no words that can describe the moment.

Birthdays bring me back to the magical moment I first held my children.  How I instantly fell in love and would do anything to protect and care for them.  It's amazing how those long hours of pain are instantly washed away once that sweet baby is born.  There is no other experience in this life like the birth of your child.

Time will tell if my time is done welcoming a new little one into the world.  Some days I feel like our family is complete and others I'm just not so sure.  The baby stage is hard on me and our marriage.  As much as I love and adore my new babies, the sleepless nights, nursing, and pure exhaustion are hard to manage.

Regardless of what the future holds, I feel so blessed to have my four kiddos.  I wish they'd stop growing so quickly, but I can't slow down time.  I am thankful for the birthdays we celebrate each year and the gentle reminder that comes with each one:  love them for who they are and cherish all of the memories I have of them through the years.  These really are the magical years.  Motherhood is sort of a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde experience.  Some days I feel so satisfied and others I just want to beat my head into a wall.  The seasons ebb and flow, and while they might be physically, mentally, and emotionally draining at times, I need to do better at focusing on the positive moments rather than the negatives.  Some days it's just so hard to remember that.

    

You Guys...The Budget Rocks!

I don't have much time today, as I'm completely obsessing about this new business idea I have and cannot stop making notes and researching.  I'm also putting together a Children's Expo for From Cover to Cover and need to focus on what needs to get done, but I am just so EXCITED!  It may not all work out in the end, but I am happy and having fun.  It's a win in my book!

I just wanted to share a bit about the budget today.  This is our first month and, while it's not perfect, it has been amazing.  It sounds so silly, but each time I get a bill I refer back to my budget page, write in the amount (we estimated beautifully this month), and pay it.  I know the money is there, as we have accounted for it, and it's just, well, done.  The best part?  Most of our bills have come in a bit under what we budgeted, so there should be money leftover to apply to our debt.  Huh, I never knew budgeting could be fun.

So, what improvements can we make?  Figuring in the little things.  For example, Valentine's Day costs.  We don't have that budgeted anywhere.  Though it's not much money, we need to account for it within our regular budget.

We are also learning the ins and outs of the irregular income budget.  This is necessary due to my husband's career in sales.  Commission varies by month, so we must prioritize our spending and list it in order on the budget form.  It has been tremendously helpful and I'm confident we will improve with this component each month.

We're on the right track and it feels great.  It's almost time to have our meeting about next month already.  It's exciting to finally have this plan in place.  We have been so cognizant of our spending these past few months and it has helped us weed out unnecessary purchases.  Our goals are set and we will achieve them by budgeting and having control of our money.

If you're hesitant about creating a budget, I encourage you to give it a try.  Life becomes so much less stressful when you have a visual plan to follow!

The Brain Never Rests

The cold is pressing down on us again and I must admit, I am feeling restless, impatient, and bored. Winter is always a difficult time for me.  I don't know if it's the cold weather, lack of sunshine, or short days, but I struggle each and every year during these long winter months.  Though I may not feel quite like myself, these feelings tend to get my mind churning and with that comes more big ideas.

I am blessed to be married to a patient man who is very supportive and accepting of me and my ideas. Sure, there are times when he might look at me like I've lost my mind, but for the most part he is happy to listen and entertain whatever my tireless brain has come up with next.  I am my father's daughter and that can't be helped.  I'm pretty proud to take after him.

Part of my restlessness stems from my constant brainstorming about how to help out financially around our house.  Staying at home with my kids is a must, so my goal is to create a business where I primarily work from home.  Over the years I've had several ideas, but none have ever quite panned out.  Sure, it's been discouraging and frustrating, but I'm not going to quit dreaming and working to turn one of my big ideas into a successful business venture.

I was sharing my newest idea with some friends this morning.  I'm pretty sure most people think I'm certifiably crazy some days, but this dreaming and planning and aspiring is what makes me feel alive and tick.  As my dear friend said told me this morning, "If you stop dreaming you become stagnant."
I don't want to become stagnant.  I want to keep chasing those dreams knowing each one is leading me closer to my destination.  Only time will tell when I've made it there.

    

Cutting Costs: The "Luxury" Utility Bills

Over the past few weeks I have been spending time looking through our bills looking for ways to cut our everyday costs after coming across a post on The Happy Housewife entitled The Secret to Lowering Your Monthly Bills.  I must admit, this is an area I hadn't given much thought to, so I read it and felt inspired to give it a try.

Last week I read an article online about Verizon reducing the price of their data plans by $10 per month.  I figured it was the perfect opportunity to contact customer service, so I did.  I was initially told I didn't qualify because I didn't have the right plan, but after asking some questions and probing a bit further, I ended up reducing my bill, which only includes myself, by $20 per month.  A $240 payday!  My plan changed a bit, but suits my needs better.  Why pay for data, minutes, or texts you don't normally use anyway?  Best of all, I didn't even have to pick up the phone.  It was all taken care of through an online chat.

Today I am tackling our home phone, internet, and cable bill.  They are all bundled together through Windstream and their television provider is DISH Network.  I tackled the tv first, as I noticed our bill increased this month.  After getting nowhere in an online chat, I called the company and was able to keep the same package while reducing our monthly bill by $15 per month for six months.  Not quite the deal I was looking for, but I will call when that time period is up to see if we can reduce it yet again.  If not, we will take our services elsewhere.  Ten minutes of my time did yield a $90 savings over the next six months, though.

Next I called Windstream and spoke with an agent regarding our bill.  Unfortunately, our internet wasn't reduced (though I didn't push too much at this point), but we changed our home phone plan to better suit our needs and reduced our bill by $13/month for a total of $156/year.  I'll work on the internet price another day, but am happy with the progress I've made so far.

For less than thirty minutes of my time, I reduced our bills by $486 per year!  I'm hoping a few more phone calls down the road will increase our savings even more.  That's a pretty good hourly wage if you ask me!  Our extra savings will be put to good use paying off our debt and building up our six month emergency fund.  Every dollar counts!

If you're looking to cut some costs, pick up the phone or hop on the customer service online chat for your providers.  With persistence, patience, and a pleasant attitude you might have a nice little payday, too!

A Family Purpose Statement

Success.  At the end of our days, when we look back on our time on this Earth, how will we define success?  Will it be the relationships we have fostered?  The amount of money we have accrued in our bank accounts?   The family we created and the legacy we will leave behind?  The time we devoted to serving others?  The experiences we've had?  The places we've traveled to?  While I'm certainly no expert, I suppose it will be compilation of all of the above and more.

In a success-driven, competitive society, one must be careful not to forget what is most important: fulfilling our purpose as a family and the health and well-being of our family unit.  There certainly is no one-size-fits-all option when it comes to making decisions for yourself and your family.  Each decision should be carefully weighed and fit within your family values.

Last year I read Notes from a Blue Bike by Tsh Oxenreider.  Early in the book, she suggests creating a family purpose statement.  Since the day I read this, I have wanted to sit down with my husband and draft our family purpose statement.  For some odd reason, we have yet to do that.  Guess what? We are going to get that done this week.

You see, the point of this family purpose statement is to help guide you in your decision-making process and focus on what is important to YOUR family.  It helps us sort through the noise and distractions we encounter every day from our extended family, friends, neighbors, and society in general.  I love this quote from Tsh's husband found in the post linked above about a series she did on getting back to the basics:

“The first post should be how to manage it all by finding your family’s priorities and ignoring everything else. No one can do it all, so it’s essential to start by finding out what you should do, and which things are okay to ignore.”

Creating this statement will take some time and serious thinking.  It should be done as a couple with everyone in your family in mind.  If your kids are old enough, ask them some questions and thoughtfully consider their responses.  When you're done, type it up, print it off, and keep it where you and your spouse will see it often.  Heck, make it pretty and post it where anyone who visits your home can see it.  I believe when we can clearly see what we value and where our priorities lie, making life choices, whether big or small, will become much easier.

Perhaps at the end of our days, we will define our success by how true we stayed to our own beliefs and values.  We may simply ask ourselves if we fulfilled our purpose as an individual and as a family.  With a clear statement guiding us along the way, it may be easier to stay the course and not be coerced into walking a path not meant for us.  

              

Motherhood...Who Knew?!

Motherhood.  Nearly eight years ago I entered into the club of mothers.  For as long as I can remember I have loved children.  When I was young, I impatiently waited for the time to come when I could babysit and when it finally arrived nearly every weekend was filled with a job.  If there was a baby or toddler running around at a gathering, I was always waiting in the wings to be asked to hold or play with them.  My passion for children lead me to a career in education and after graduation I found myself teaching young children with special needs.  It was a challenging job, but I enjoyed it and swelled with pride when those sweet kiddos met a new milestone.

Naively, I assumed motherhood wouldn't be too much of a challenge and life would carry on as normal, just with a baby in tow.  After all, I had plenty of experience since I had spent much of my life with children.  Boy was I wrong.  Little did I know how much sleep deprivation and fluctuating hormones would affect not only my ability to parent, but to maintain an identity outside of Mom.

When I made the choice to stay home with my children, I had no idea how hard it would be.  Many might scoff at that statement, but spending your days at home with the sweet bundles of joy who can't converse and need you nearly every minute of the day (oh, and night) is no walk in the park.  It is easy to become isolated and quickly lose track of who you are as an individual.

I've been at home nearly eight years now and while I wouldn't trade that time for the world, I have thrown my hands up in the air many times and been ready to quit.  But I haven't.  I have trudged through days that have run into weeks on end of challenging behaviors, temper tantrums, and frustration.  I have slept walked through years of life knowing one day it would end and all of the struggles and exhaustion would be worth it.  These years, when our children are young and ornery, will swiftly pass by.  It may not feel like it when we're in the thick of it, but as the old saying goes, "The days are long, but the years are short."

In "The Year to Get It Done" I want to do my best to embrace this season of life.  Some days it may be hard, but these years are going by all too quickly.  I hope to be able to set aside time to do special things with our kids and to create traditions, like family movie and game night, that bring us together as a family and allow us to relax and have some fun.  I want to pack a picnic and hit the park when the weather is nice and go on out of town adventures.  I want to encourage our kids to explore their interests and support their hobbies within reason.  I want to sit around the table each night and talk about our day.  I want to find opportunities to serve as a family and make a difference in our small corner of the world.    

Most of all, I hope when our children are grown, they look back on their childhood and smile.  I hope they realize the importance of family and appreciate all of the adventures we went on and opportunities they had.  I hope they realize how important they are to us and how we loved watching them grow into the unique individuals that they are.  I hope our children are grateful for their blessings and willing to serve those who are in need.  

Our greatest gift to our children is our time.  I think I need to tattoo this on my hands, for there are times when I don't always make the best choices with the precious hours I'm given each day.  Some days I yearn for time to myself, if only for a few moments.  I must remember, though, when my kids ask me to watch them, to sit with them, or look at their creation for the umteenth time that day, I need to do just that.

If I don't, they will quit asking.  What a sad day that would be.  Sometimes getting it done means doing nothing at all.  It means being present in the lives of those we love the most and simply taking the time to enjoy the little things.    

     

     

  

   

Life's Struggles Make Us Stronger

Last month I wrote about lightening the load.  For years I had struggled with the mysterious end of two friendships I valued very much.  During this year of getting sh*t done, I have set goals in many areas.  One of them being relationships, particularly friendships.

I am not going to lie.  Female friendships have always been a challenge for me.  From middle school through college I struggled with these relationships.  Throughout that period of time I had many quote, unquote "friends," but somewhere along the line something always went terribly wrong.  One day we were "friends" and the next day, well, we weren't.  I know I made plenty of mistakes along the way, but I never understood how people could turn on you so quickly and treat you so poorly.  

I think this is why the end of these two particular friendships hurt so badly.  I met them after college during the carefree, living it up stage of my life.  I had made the decision to spread my wings and fly after graduating and landed 16 hours from home.  My first day of work I was blessed to meet a gal, who also happened to be from Iowa, and we quickly became best friends.  She introduced me to a few other transplants and just like that I had a group to belong to and felt at home.

They liked me for who I was as a person and no one was there to interject their personal opinions about me.  I had a fresh start and was so relieved and happy to put the volatile high school and college years behind me.  It felt so great to be accepted and part of the group for simply being who I was.  I didn't have to pretend to be someone I wasn't to fit in and much to my relief I felt safe.  I no longer feared the whispers or who would be the next person to turn around and talk about me behind my back.  It was so freeing.  

These friendships were valuable to me and I miss them.  It is why I made the decision to finally reach out in hope of reconnecting.  There was never any great fallout.  They just went away.  Those friendships came at a time in my life when I desperately needed to feel accepted and valued as an individual.  God puts people in our lives for a reason and he sure knew what he was doing when he placed my Texas friends into my life.  It opened up my eyes to the positive side of friendship and how fun it can be.   

The experiences I had with "friends" during my teens and early twenties have caused me to be a very cautious person when it comes to new friendships.  Over the past ten plus years I have been blessed with some wonderful friendships, but it has taken me a long time to trust people and move from a casual friendship to one of more substance.  This year I hope to mend a few friendships from the past, but also deepen the relationships I have with those I trust and feel safe with.  I know nothing is ever foolproof, but I hope at this point and time in my life I won't have to feel the hurt and disappointment I experienced all those years ago.  

Owning our story without shame is so freeing.  Here's to taking a chance and trusting the people God has placed in my life at this juncture are here for a reason.  I am so thankful for the women in my life and I look forward to seeing our journeys unfold.     

                 

       

Through Our Children's Eyes

During dinner last night we went around the table and shared our blessings for the day.  After adding them to our gratitude journal, we began a fun conversation sparked by one of the children's blessings for the day:  our upcoming vacation to the beach.  Yes, it may still be four months away, but the kids' enthusiasm is hard to contain.

The conversation was focused on what they would like to do and see during this year's trip to the beach.  They couldn't share their ideas quick enough and there may have been a little fighting over whose turn it was, but once the conversation concluded my husband and I looked at each other and just knew this little tradition we have started will be one of their favorite childhood memories once our kids are grown.

7 years ago my mom planned a family trip to the beach to celebrate her birthday.  After a lot of research she decided on a sleepy little beach town in North Carolina:  Topsail Island.  At the time we only had our oldest son who was almost 18 months old.  We flew to North Carolina and met the rest of my family for a weeklong beach adventure.

We fell in love with the place.  This area is about as non-commercialized as you can get.  Sure, there are some beach stores selling the cheesy souvenirs, a few chain fast-food restaurants, and a recently added Wal-Mart, but for the most part this is a place filled with local businesses and beach houses rented out to vacationers like us.  

We had so much fun we went back the following year with a new baby in tow and our son.  Life happened and vacations were put on hold, but last year we decided to make the trip back to the beach we love. It was our first family road trip and it was a trip to remember.  The kids LOVED the place and the house we rented this time was perfect for our family and my parents.

Before we even left last summer, the kids asked if we could return.  We didn't make any promises, but hoped we could.  In January we reserved the same house and told the kids the beach was a go. They were so excited!  One of the first questions they asked:  "Are we going to the same house?!"

And so it begins.  We enjoy traveling and this is a big priority for our family.  While we want to vacation all over the country and hit all of those ballparks, there is something special about having "our place."  The conversation around the dinner table last night confirmed that.  The familiarity of it coupled with the special memories and places the kids already hold so dear to their hearts makes the trip almost magical.

When my husband and I exchanged glances last night it brought a smile to both of our faces.  The kids had left the table and all grabbed a piece of paper to create their list of things to do at the beach this year.  In the big life picture it is not the material items that matter.  It is the experiences we share as a family and the memories we create together that will leave a lasting impact on our children (and us!).  I will happily pass on new clothes and shoes, eating out, and getting my hair done every few months if it means the money I have saved allows us to afford that yearly trip to the beach.

We've found a place that brings our entire family such joy and happiness.  I consider myself very fortunate to have found this treasure when our children were so young.  We can look forward to many years of memories and relaxing on the beach together as a family.  Life doesn't get much better than that!  

When One Door Closes, Another One Opens

I am an ambitious person.  It seems like my mind rarely rests and there are always a wide array of ideas floating around in my head.  At times I am quick to act on them and dive in head-first with enthusiasm ready to tackle the world.  A few of those ideas have been successful, but plenty more have failed.  When failure has been the outcome, I have let feelings of frustration and defeat consume me.

Failure is not fun.  No one enjoys failing.  I know I certainly don't, but just because I have failed doesn't mean there aren't lessons to be learned.  Those lessons are valuable and though I may not understand them at the time, those closed doors are simply a part of my journey.  As hard as it may be to accept, those lessons play an integral part in shaping who I am as a person and guiding me down the right path.

Have you ever been disappointed in the outcome of pursuing an idea only to later realize if it had worked out, your current path wouldn't be possible?  Sometimes, when we are feeling restless or pressured, we try to force ourselves into believing we have the perfect plan to remedy the situation. We try to implement this plan, but to our disappointment the results are less than desirable.  At the time we may feel crushed and wonder why this has happened, but in time another door opens and the light comes on.  We have an "Aha" moment and realize all of the pain and disappointment we may have experienced was for not.  This door that has opened may bring us more joy and fulfillment than we could have ever imagined had our original plan worked out.

In the past year I have experienced this first-hand.  Last winter I was knee deep in one of my big ideas.  I planned to use my education and experience to open a preschool in my small town.  Initially I was discouraged because I couldn't find a location that would work, but one Sunday evening, on our anniversary no less, I received an email from the pastor at a nearby church expressing interest in being the location for the preschool.  The door had opened.

After a few months of meeting with the pastor and working with state officials everything appeared to be coming together.  I hired an architect to draw out the plans to be submitted to the state.  He thought there would be no problems, so I had my first meeting to share my preschool philosophy and plans with potential student's parents.  Everything was moving along so well until one day the rug was pulled out.

The state reviewed the architect's plans and there were problems.  The fire marshall mandated some very expensive and extensive work be done before the preschool could be opened at the church.  I was crushed as these alterations could not be made and the preschool was put on an indefinite hold.

Fast-forward a year.  From Cover to Cover, the charitable organization I co-founded, has grown immensely.  Not only have we expanded our programs, but we are sharing our mission with civic organizations in our area.  Nearly every month I have a speaking engagement in addition to meeting with school administrators and facilitating the programs at our targeted schools.  I also spend hours working on fundraising and writing grants each month.  The majority of these activities take place during the day and if I were running a preschool and teaching, I would not have the opportunity to serve these children.

Few things, other than my family, bring me more joy than the work I have done with From Cover to Cover.  Actively working with children from low income homes fills my heart.  Providing these children with a treasured gift (the blanket) and a necessary tool that could lead to a brighter future (the books) will never get old.  The excitement, smiles, and sweet thank you's from the kids bring tears to my eyes each time.  The addition of Family Literacy Nights has sweetened the deal even more, as now we get to work with parents, too.

The door that closed on my preschool has lead to countless open doors in the past year.  The disappointment that consumed me has given way to joy and fulfillment.  We have been able to reach out to hundreds of local school children and share our message about the importance of reading and, in turn, they have received a gift lovingly made by one of our generous volunteers.

It has all come full circle and I can see now that my plan was not a part of His plan.  We must be faithful and trust when one door closes another will open.  It may be hard to wait, but if we are patient and willing to trust in His plan, great things will happen.  If you hold a big dream close to your heart and hit a roadblock, do not despair.  God works in mysterious ways.  The big picture may not be clear to you, but in time it will reveal itself.  Just do yourself a favor-never give up.

Financial Focus

January marked the beginning of our financial journey following Dave Ramsey's principles.  A few weeks ago we set up our first budget and now that February is here we are officially putting it to use. I think I've shared before I always felt we did a pretty good job handling our money, but my eyes have been opened this past month.  Being held accountable for every dollar you spend changes your perspective a bit!  We definitely have room for improvement.

For two months I have written down each purchase we've made.  I divided them up into categories and added the totals up at the end of the month.  This gave me a good idea where our money was going and helped us plan our budget.  December was a very big spending month, so January gave us a much better picture and that's what we have based our budget off of.

Our budget is zero-based meaning every dollar is accounted for.  As we work through the baby steps created by Dave Ramsey any extra dollars will be filtered to meet our goals in each step. Right now we are on step 2:  paying off all debt (except the mortgage).  Therefore, at the end of February, any money leftover will be applied to our debt.  The ultimate goal?  To have money left over to apply to that debt.  If not?  To not spend more than was brought in this month.  

It is much easier to live within our means when we put the credit cards aside and check in with each other frequently.  Right now there is little room for splurging of any kind, but that's ok.  It is going to take discipline, sacrifice, and communication to meet our goals, but it will be worth it.  

Moving past the thought of "I deserve this" or "Just this one time" really helps us stay focused.  Just because we want something doesn't mean we need it.  America thrives on instant gratification and it may be difficult to wait.  Rewiring our brain to think differently can be challenging, but by focusing on the necessities and forgoing the wants, we are setting ourselves up for financial freedom.  This is a great lesson to model for our children and we hope to teach them the value of money and how to make financially responsible decisions from a young age.

Wherever you are in your journey, I encourage you to read Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover.  So many of us live with an enormous amount of stress stemming from, you guessed it, money.  Life doesn't have to be this way and the principles in this book really do make sense.  We are just a few of the millions of people who have heeded his advice and taken steps to improve our financial situation. It is certainly nothing fancy, but it makes sense.  

It may sound odd, but my husband and I are excited about this journey.  It is refreshing to have goals and a concrete plan to work on together.  Our lines of communication have improved greatly and we feel really good about the future.  We're ready to get it done in 2015!