We also struggled through many days and spent a lot of time contemplating what the future would hold for our family. It has not been an easy road and we have spent a great deal of time weighing the pros and cons, but at the end of the day we feel we have finally come to the right conclusion to fit our needs and it requires a major life change: moving. We've talked about it for what seems like forever, but now it is really happening.
Four years ago we moved to a small town in Iowa. Back then we naively thought we had found our forever home. It is impossible to see what the future will hold, but I have learned that forever is a REALLY long time and you just never know what God has in store for you. In our case, we did not anticipate the challenges that would come with having children who do not fit into the mythical "box."
Our initial experience with our current school district was not a positive one and it remained a challenge for a few years. Our oldest son didn't fit into the "box." He has life-threatening food allergies (peanuts, tree nuts, and shellfish if you're curious) and a peanut/tree nut free classroom, as well as other accommodations, are imperative for his safety. What should have been a simple process was not. It was a struggle to initially get everything into place and took us into the better part of his second year in the school to finally feel his needs were being met. Let me tell you, it is not fun to be challenged on your child's rights. Thankfully there are federal laws in place that protect him. I was blessed to have an educational background in this department and able to knowledgeably fight for him, as well as others who also have this disability.
Our other son does not fit into this "box" either. His needs are much different than his brother's and even more complex. We have struggled at home for many years and school is proving to be no different. He, too, is protected by law to receive services and accommodations, yet it has been a struggle with the district once again. In this case, though, we are unwilling to fight the good fight. It is mentally and emotionally draining and in the end, we want our son to be set up for success from day one.
I wouldn't say that managing life-threatening food allergies is easy, but the measures taken are fairly cut and dry when compared to the needs of our younger son. In the end, we have made the difficult decision to move to a district where we feel his needs will be met and he will thrive. Additionally, all of our children will be in the same school, which is of utmost importance to us. One HUGE added bonus? We'll be closer to our family whose support is invaluable on this journey.
Our decision may baffle some, but it is not one we have made lightly and has been made with confidence. What happens inside the walls of a home and behind closed doors can be very different from what the outside world sees. It is difficult to understand someone else's journey when you are not living it. I think these statements are true for people in all walks of life. The greatest gift you can give someone, even if you are not in agreement with their decision, is respect. It truly makes a difference.
One of the biggest lessons I've learned through this process is to trust your gut. Your intuition is an amazing gift. It is so important to remember that what's right for someone else, may not be right for you and you know what? That's okay.
All of my life I have heard my grandmother say, "To each his own."
Oh how right she is.
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