Life's Struggles Make Us Stronger

Last month I wrote about lightening the load.  For years I had struggled with the mysterious end of two friendships I valued very much.  During this year of getting sh*t done, I have set goals in many areas.  One of them being relationships, particularly friendships.

I am not going to lie.  Female friendships have always been a challenge for me.  From middle school through college I struggled with these relationships.  Throughout that period of time I had many quote, unquote "friends," but somewhere along the line something always went terribly wrong.  One day we were "friends" and the next day, well, we weren't.  I know I made plenty of mistakes along the way, but I never understood how people could turn on you so quickly and treat you so poorly.  

I think this is why the end of these two particular friendships hurt so badly.  I met them after college during the carefree, living it up stage of my life.  I had made the decision to spread my wings and fly after graduating and landed 16 hours from home.  My first day of work I was blessed to meet a gal, who also happened to be from Iowa, and we quickly became best friends.  She introduced me to a few other transplants and just like that I had a group to belong to and felt at home.

They liked me for who I was as a person and no one was there to interject their personal opinions about me.  I had a fresh start and was so relieved and happy to put the volatile high school and college years behind me.  It felt so great to be accepted and part of the group for simply being who I was.  I didn't have to pretend to be someone I wasn't to fit in and much to my relief I felt safe.  I no longer feared the whispers or who would be the next person to turn around and talk about me behind my back.  It was so freeing.  

These friendships were valuable to me and I miss them.  It is why I made the decision to finally reach out in hope of reconnecting.  There was never any great fallout.  They just went away.  Those friendships came at a time in my life when I desperately needed to feel accepted and valued as an individual.  God puts people in our lives for a reason and he sure knew what he was doing when he placed my Texas friends into my life.  It opened up my eyes to the positive side of friendship and how fun it can be.   

The experiences I had with "friends" during my teens and early twenties have caused me to be a very cautious person when it comes to new friendships.  Over the past ten plus years I have been blessed with some wonderful friendships, but it has taken me a long time to trust people and move from a casual friendship to one of more substance.  This year I hope to mend a few friendships from the past, but also deepen the relationships I have with those I trust and feel safe with.  I know nothing is ever foolproof, but I hope at this point and time in my life I won't have to feel the hurt and disappointment I experienced all those years ago.  

Owning our story without shame is so freeing.  Here's to taking a chance and trusting the people God has placed in my life at this juncture are here for a reason.  I am so thankful for the women in my life and I look forward to seeing our journeys unfold.     

                 

       

Making Connections

Relationships.  In the hustle and bustle of life, this may be an area we let slide a bit.  Work, family, home maintenance, and outside obligations seem to leave us with little time to focus on making connections with those outside of our work circles and homes.  Raising a family can be exhausting, overwhelming, and may leave little "me" time, but we need to find time to connect with our significant other and friends.

It may seem odd to set relationship goals, but perhaps bringing this part of life to the forefront and making it a priority will help us to set aside some time to connect with those important to us.

For 2015, I have created the following goals in this area:

-Date night once a month with my husband
-Nightly "check-in" time to share about our day, struggles, and any important information
-Resume bi-weekly book club with the gals
-Social gatherings with other couples

This might seem a little overzealous, but with some planning and conscious effort, I am hopeful to achieve these goals.  Now is the perfect time to start, as midwest winters combined with staying at home with the kids can be a bit isolating.  It's time to break out the calendar and make some plans!

Find Your People

Are you getting excited yet?  I am!  Thoughts, ideas, and goals are being written in my little yellow notebook each day.  My husband and I are thoughtfully considering the why behind the goals we have set and now it's time for the final step:  being held accountable.

By nature, I am a competitive person.  I look forward to a challenge and do my best to follow through and achieve what I've set out to do.  I am much more successful, though, if I share my goal with at least one other person.

The summer after I had my fourth child I decided to try the Couch to 5K program to not only lose the baby weight, but to challenge myself as well.  My husband was my person.  He encouraged me to keep at it and I happily reported my progress after each run.  For someone who found a mile to be a feat, I was very proud when I finally ran that 5K with ease.  Without him, I may not have been as successful.

In preparation for "The Year to Get It Done," I am not only enlisting some of my family and friends to hold me accountable, but an online community as well.  I hope you will join me and share some of your goals and progress on my Facebook page.  Each week I plan to do a little check-in to see how everyone is doing.  A little encouragement can go a long way!

We'll officially be off and running on January 1st!  To kick the year off, I'll be holding a two-day contest and concluding with a giveaway!  Make sure you check back in for the announcement tomorrow, as the contest will only run through 7 P.M. CST Thursday night!

Until then, be thinking about who your people will be.

My first 2 mile race-a family affair!