Life's Struggles Make Us Stronger

Last month I wrote about lightening the load.  For years I had struggled with the mysterious end of two friendships I valued very much.  During this year of getting sh*t done, I have set goals in many areas.  One of them being relationships, particularly friendships.

I am not going to lie.  Female friendships have always been a challenge for me.  From middle school through college I struggled with these relationships.  Throughout that period of time I had many quote, unquote "friends," but somewhere along the line something always went terribly wrong.  One day we were "friends" and the next day, well, we weren't.  I know I made plenty of mistakes along the way, but I never understood how people could turn on you so quickly and treat you so poorly.  

I think this is why the end of these two particular friendships hurt so badly.  I met them after college during the carefree, living it up stage of my life.  I had made the decision to spread my wings and fly after graduating and landed 16 hours from home.  My first day of work I was blessed to meet a gal, who also happened to be from Iowa, and we quickly became best friends.  She introduced me to a few other transplants and just like that I had a group to belong to and felt at home.

They liked me for who I was as a person and no one was there to interject their personal opinions about me.  I had a fresh start and was so relieved and happy to put the volatile high school and college years behind me.  It felt so great to be accepted and part of the group for simply being who I was.  I didn't have to pretend to be someone I wasn't to fit in and much to my relief I felt safe.  I no longer feared the whispers or who would be the next person to turn around and talk about me behind my back.  It was so freeing.  

These friendships were valuable to me and I miss them.  It is why I made the decision to finally reach out in hope of reconnecting.  There was never any great fallout.  They just went away.  Those friendships came at a time in my life when I desperately needed to feel accepted and valued as an individual.  God puts people in our lives for a reason and he sure knew what he was doing when he placed my Texas friends into my life.  It opened up my eyes to the positive side of friendship and how fun it can be.   

The experiences I had with "friends" during my teens and early twenties have caused me to be a very cautious person when it comes to new friendships.  Over the past ten plus years I have been blessed with some wonderful friendships, but it has taken me a long time to trust people and move from a casual friendship to one of more substance.  This year I hope to mend a few friendships from the past, but also deepen the relationships I have with those I trust and feel safe with.  I know nothing is ever foolproof, but I hope at this point and time in my life I won't have to feel the hurt and disappointment I experienced all those years ago.  

Owning our story without shame is so freeing.  Here's to taking a chance and trusting the people God has placed in my life at this juncture are here for a reason.  I am so thankful for the women in my life and I look forward to seeing our journeys unfold.