Birthdays Bring a Gentle Reminder

Sunday brought another birthday for my oldest son.  They seem to come so quickly and I don't like it!  Every time one of my kids has a birthday I find myself thinking of the long hours leading up to their birth and it makes me wish I could turn back the time.  Seeing each of my kids for the first time was just so amazing.  There are simply no words that can describe the moment.

Birthdays bring me back to the magical moment I first held my children.  How I instantly fell in love and would do anything to protect and care for them.  It's amazing how those long hours of pain are instantly washed away once that sweet baby is born.  There is no other experience in this life like the birth of your child.

Time will tell if my time is done welcoming a new little one into the world.  Some days I feel like our family is complete and others I'm just not so sure.  The baby stage is hard on me and our marriage.  As much as I love and adore my new babies, the sleepless nights, nursing, and pure exhaustion are hard to manage.

Regardless of what the future holds, I feel so blessed to have my four kiddos.  I wish they'd stop growing so quickly, but I can't slow down time.  I am thankful for the birthdays we celebrate each year and the gentle reminder that comes with each one:  love them for who they are and cherish all of the memories I have of them through the years.  These really are the magical years.  Motherhood is sort of a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde experience.  Some days I feel so satisfied and others I just want to beat my head into a wall.  The seasons ebb and flow, and while they might be physically, mentally, and emotionally draining at times, I need to do better at focusing on the positive moments rather than the negatives.  Some days it's just so hard to remember that.