When Passion and Purpose Meet

Today I am linking up with Jill Savage and Hearts at Home for Third Thursday Thoughts.  This month's theme is Unleash Your Power to Inspire. 

We have been blessed with a purpose.

"The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.  Do not forsake the work of your hands."  Psalm 138:8

We have been blessed with gifts and talents which will help us fulfill this purpose, but piecing together the puzzle may leave us with feelings of frustration, restlessness, doubt, and fear.  We may have to try and fail many times, but be steadfast in your faith, listen to your heart, and do not give up. 

"Do not neglect the gift you have, which was given you by prophecy when the council of elders laid their hands on you."  1 Timothy 4:14

We have been blessed with a passion and when we partake in activities that incorporate this passion while simultaneously fulfilling our purpose, an indescribable feeling washes over us.  Our hearts are filled with joy and in that moment we realize we have found our way.  All of the hard work, restlessness, frustration, doubt, and fear were worth it.

I can attest to this, because, after searching for many years, I have found my way.      

Throughout my journey, I have listened to the whisper in my heart.  I may not have been obedient the first, second, or even the third time I heard that whisper, but in time I have listened.  After high school I went to college to pursue a degree in education.  I spent five years teaching before leaving my career behind to start my new career as a stay-at-home mom.  Four kids and eight years later I still hold that title, but I have added another title to my resume.  One that ties all of the steps of my journey together.    

From the time I was a young girl, I have loved to help others.  The smallest gestures brought me great joy and those memories have lived on inside of me for nearly three decades.  I am now in my mid-thirties and have reached a point in my life where I can say with absolute certainty I am fulfilling my purpose.

A few years ago a childhood friend and I had a little idea.  We were each doing a service project with our families at Christmastime:  her family was making fleece tie blankets and mine was collecting books for children in need.  A lightbulb came on inside of us and we decided to pair the two together and gift them to children at-risk in our community in an effort to promote literacy.  

What started off as a simple concept has grown into a thriving non-profit known as From Cover to Cover.  This week we met with legal council and are thrilled to be moving forward to become an official 501(c)3 organization.  We currently serve the children in our community, but it our hope to expand this program by organizing subchapters lead by volunteers throughout the country.

In two years we have provided nearly 600 kindergarten students with the gift of a book and a blanket and distributed over 3000 new and used books to help children at-risk build their own home libraries.  A few weeks ago we sponsored a visit by Michelle Nelson-Schmidt, an author and illustrator, who shared an amazing inspirational message with nearly 700 low-income children about staying true to themselves, working hard, and following their dreams.   Lives were changed during her visit.  Ours included.

Our journey has only just begun and I cannot wait to see what the future holds.  I have stepped out of my comfort zone time and time again, learned new skills, and dedicated hours to raising funds to fulfill our mission and reach as many children in our area as possible.  Each time we host an event, my heart swells with joy.  I feel overwhelmingly fulfilled.  I soak it all in and come home with the burning desire to do more.  To plan the next event.  To find the money to make it happen...and I do it.

"In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'" Acts 20:35

Serving the children in my community inspires me.  Every hug, every thank you, every smile...the way their faces light up when they receive their book and blanket is priceless.  Combining my passion for education and God-given gifts has lead me to my purpose and for that I am truly blessed.

2015 is the year to get it done!  Listen to the whisper and find your passion.  It will lead you to a wonderful place.

       

       

   

Busy...Why This Word Needs to Go Away

"Busy."  This seems to be the word most of us use to describe our lives.  As a society we seem to wear our busyness with pride, but have we paused a moment to really examine what is truly making us so "busy?"  Are these busy lives we are creating for ourselves and our families truly something to be proud of?  We complain about how we don't have any time for homework, how we don't have time to cook and have a family meal, how we don't have time to go to church, how we don't have time to exercise...to sleep...the list goes on.  Simply put, we have little time to focus on what truly matters and rest.

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gently and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy, my burden is light."  Matthew 11:28-30  

Children attend school all day, are picked up, and begin the evening rush.  On the weekend they are shuttled around from activity to activity, putting the very things we complain about not having time for on the back-burner.  Sadly, the days of unstructured time for play, exercise, and imagination seem to be fading.

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."  Romans 12:2

As parents, we have been entrusted with the responsibility of shaping the next generation.  Impressionable eyes are watching us.  Little ears are listening.  These children are looking to us for guidance and it is our job to lead by example.  What are we teaching our children by being so busy we don't have time to eat as a family?  How are we teaching them to value education and be responsible when their homework is finished as they're running out the door because we were running from activity to activity the night before?  How are we teaching them to be grateful for their blessings and serve others in their community when we are too busy to volunteer ourselves?  The hard truth? We're not.

"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."  1 Timothy 5:8

The buzz on the street is we're raising an entitled generation of kids.  While it's hard to hear, can many of you disagree?  We have succumbed to the idea that our kids' happiness is measured by all of the "stuff" we provide for them.  Activities, play dates, material items, the latest and greatest technology...ugh, the list goes on and on.  They get what they want and then they ask for more.  They are searching for a feeling of satisfaction that will never come because there will always be something better behind the next door.  Oh, America, what are we doing?

"Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."  Hebrews 13:5

It is time to take a step back and truly evaluate our lives.  If you are too busy for homework, family dinners, nightly reading, and reasonable bedtimes then perhaps it is time to make a change.  Our children are depending on us to set limits and create a home environment that isn't so busy.  Sure, it may be hard to say no to whatever it is they are "dying" to do next, but in the end, after the tears have dried and the tantrum has ceased, how refreshing will it feel to not be so overwhelmed and, you got it, busy?  Let go of the guilt.  There is no disservice in saying no.  In time your children will thank you.

"For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."  Hebrews 12:11

So Much Joy

Ah, Monday is here again.  This particular Monday brings about some mixed emotions.  Last week, the author visit I had worked on putting together for about eight months happened and it was more than I could have ever dreamed it to be.  Amazing doesn't even begin to sum it up.  Deep down inside, I believe bringing Michelle Nelson-Schmidt to speak to the children served by From Cover to Cover was near the top of my life experiences, outside of my wedding day and birth of my children.  The majority of the children she spoke to live in poverty and the gift of hope and encouragement she shared with them is bound to change lives.  Those sweet kids left with a smile on their face, a twinkle in their eye, and walked a little taller after they heard her speak.  The many hours of grant writing, public speaking, and planning were more than worth it.  I hope to be able to provide this gift to more children in my community in the future.

I ended the week on a high and had a wonderful weekend with friends and my sweet family.  Everyone is back to the grind today and I am feeling the let-down effect.  Months and months of my life went into putting together that author visit and I am left with the feeling of what now?  I know I should be savoring the quiet and resting, but this busy brain of mine has a hard time letting that happen.  In my heart I know my work has only just begun working with children in need in my community, but it is so hard to be patient and wait to see lies ahead.  I am confident more doors will open and He will put more on my heart, but I want a sneak peak now!

On the bright side, summer is right around the corner.  Traveling is one of my passions and soon we'll be hitting the road on our first big trip for the summer.  The excitement in my house is palpable and I am looking forward to our adventures as a family.  These vacations will leave us with lasting memories and I feel so blessed we are able to travel quite extensively this summer.

First up is a week at the beach.  A place where we can all sit back and relax.  The kids are already planning their sand creations and the other day my oldest son so sweetly said, "Mom.  The beach is going to be a nice break for you.  We can just run around all day and you won't even have to yell at us."

Well said, my boy.  We can all benefit from a week of no running, schedules, or plans.  I'll be packing up some good books, a journal, and my camera in my beach bag.  I can already hear the sound of the waves and feel the breeze.  I might be experiencing a bit of restlessness and wonder, but I am looking forward to spending some uninterrupted quality time with my family.  Perhaps I'll come back refreshed and full of ideas.  Only time will tell!

Our happy place

 

The Big Event

May.  Wow, you came up fast!  I was feeling a little down the other day about the progress made during my "Year to Get it Done" project, but after some careful reflection and talking with my good friend, I've come around a bit.  Truth be told, there has been some tremendous progress in the first four months of this project and it happened during the longest, hardest months of the year.  With beautiful weather ahead, the kids home for the summer soon, and a little extra energy, I'm feeling pretty good about what the next eight months might have in store for our family.

The turn of the calendar brings about a packed month of fun, fulfillment, excitement, and relief.  The beginning of the month is filled with activities for my charity, From Cover to Cover.  In addition to a few book and blanket donations, we are sponsoring an author visit for two schools this month.  Late last summer, I began writing grants and speaking to local civic organizations about the launch of our Family Literacy Night pilot program.  Obviously, writing grants and public speaking were not part of my everyday duties as a stay-at-home mom, but they have quickly become a very fulfilling and exciting part of my life.

This project my friend and I started two years ago has turned into my passion.  It has brought me great joy to be able to share our mission and secure funds to add additional programs to help promote literacy and reach more kids in my community.

This project has lit a fire inside of me.  It has filled this unexplainable void I have felt for a long time.  I feel called to do this work and it gives my life a purpose other than wife and mother.  I haven't worked a traditional job in over 8 years and have struggled with feelings of restlessness during this time.  This project has allowed me to focus on a tangible goal and work to achieve it.

The culminating event for the year happens this week and my adrenaline is pumping.  I imagine this is what one feels like when they have worked hard to meet a deadline.  All of the hours of work will soon result in the author we have selected sharing a wonderful, inspiring message with over six hundred children in our community.

I can't help but wonder how many children's lives will be altered a bit by this visit.  How many will follow their dreams?  How many will really soak up her words and choose to set goals and work hard to achieve them?  I will never know, but I am excited to be able to share this gift with them.  To give them hope and inspiration.

I am thrilled to finish up our second year of serving kids in our community and begin planning for next year.  The sky is the limit and I am committed to growing this program not only here in my own community but in communities around the country.  Sharing the gift of a book and blanket has a tremendous impact on the children we serve.  I have seen the smiles, been the recipient of the hugs, and watched hundreds of children's eyes light up when they have received their gift bag.

Our mission may be to promote literacy among children at-risk with this gift, but there is more to this project than meets the eye.  Several times a year we are blessed with the opportunity to speak to and interact with a large group of kindergarten students.  A friend of mine is a counselor with a lot of experience with children living in poverty.  Recently she mentioned this project is conveying a message to these kids that people in the community care about them.  While they may walk out with a brand new book and blanket to snuggle up in and read at home, perhaps this greatest gift is knowing someone cares about them.

This is going to be a great week and I am hopeful many more great moments lie ahead.

Reading a new book

All snuggled up

Sneaking in some reading

Choosing free books

   

The Fitness Struggle

Our first summer vacation is right around the corner.  While I am really looking forward to a relaxing week at the beach, I am not so excited about the extra pounds I'm carrying around.  Lack of exercise combined with a sweet tooth has left me quite soft around the middle and carrying a little extra baggage in the back if you know what I mean.  It is really no one's fault but my own and I take full responsibility.  Now that the weather is getting warmer and the days longer, there really is no excuse not to make time time to go for a run several times a week.  Well, other than my body feeling old anyway!

I have set a few fitness goals for myself this summer and I am hopeful my body will cooperate!  I have split it into three bench marks:  a 5K, 5 mile, and 7 mile race.  I am putting little emphasis on race and more on completion.  I am not a "runner."  It has never been something I have enjoyed nor felt very comfortable doing, but with limited workout options and a desire to lose some weight, it is the route I am taking.  

A few summers ago, after I had my fourth baby, I committed to the Couch25K program and had success.  Much of training was more of a mental struggle than a physical one, so this time around I am a bit ahead of the game.  I have already proved to myself I can run over three miles, now it is time to push it even further.  I have gone on two runs this month (not many, I know!) and been able to run over 2.25 miles each time.  It took me weeks to get this point two years ago, so I am pleased this is my starting point.   

While I was stretching after my run last night, my husband and I were talking about how it went.  He is very encouraging and said something to me that really struck a chord:  "I don't think you give yourself enough credit.  You are an athlete."  Huh.  He is right.  In my younger years I played many sports.  I was not a star, but I was skilled, and very competitive.  After high school, I spent many years working out in spurts, but have struggled to consistently stay in shape.  It has been very frustrating and an area in which I would like improve.

I suppose it would make sense to do this during this year in which I have declared to "Get it Done!"  It also aligns with my word of the year:  discipline.  The biggest challenge will be creating and sticking to a schedule.  With four kids and a husband who travels for his job, sneaking away for 45 minutes to an hour is not always easy, but with some planning I have faith it can be done.  

This mama needs to make time for fitness.  Three years ago I was in the best shape of my life and the smallest I'd been since high school.  I have a lot of work ahead of me, but I am going to dig deep and find that inner athlete again.  It won't be easy, but I am hoping by the end of July I'll be able to finish that 7 mile race with a smile on my face!

Do you struggle with setting time for your health and fitness?  What holds you up?  Have you successfully implemented a fitness routine?  Share your tips!

The Power of "No"

A few months ago I wrote about finding my best yes.  I am a self-proclaimed doer.  I have a hard time sitting still and often say "yes" to commitments without really giving it any thought.  As this trend continues, though, I am starting to realize the importance of carefully considering how I spend my time and choosing activities that align with my goals and what I have been called to do.  Saying "no" is not easy, but if I don't, my best yeses will suffer and there will not be time for the activities that bring feelings of joy and fulfillment.

After a long period of evaluation and contemplation, I said my first "no" this week.  This year I have served as the vice president of the PTA at my kids' school.  What I hoped would be a fulfilling experience has turned out to be a frustrating, disappointing, time-consuming year.  As a former teacher and parent who highly values education, I wholeheartedly believe in the importance of being involved at my kids' school and thought stepping into this position was a great opportunity.  As the year progressed, the lack of parental involvement left me and a few others to shoulder the load.  While my kids are proud their mama helps out at school, I believe there is a way to be supportive without holding a position on the board which leaves me feeling incredibly unfulfilled and my tank empty.  With the school year winding down, I have made the decision to step down and shared that at our meeting this week.

My load has been lightened and I could not be happier.  Saying "no" has been so freeing.  When I attended the Hearts at Home conference in March, I sat in on one of Jill Savage's breakout sessions where she discussed ten ways to reduce your stress.  There were two main points I took away from this session I want to share with you today:  never say "yes" on the spot and limit yourself to one major commitment and limit the minor commitments.

What is the difference between a major and minor commitment?  A major commitment involves you actively planning, organizing, and participating in an activity.  A minor commitment may be an activity where you simply need to show up.  Overloading our schedules with major commitments stretches us too thin and leads us down a long and frustrating path.  This idea has resonated deeply with me.  Though I love to get involved in a wide variety of activities, it truly is not in my or my family's best interest to accept a large role in all of these activities.  This advice played a big part in my decision to step down from the PTA board after this school year.  I can still be involved, but on a much smaller scale.

Choosing my major commitment was easy.  From Cover to Cover, the literacy charity I co-founded, easily takes the cake.  It is a project I believe in with every ounce of my being and the joy and fulfillment it brings to my life is indescribable.  Outside of my family, this will be where my time and energy will be spent.  From Cover to Cover encompasses so much of what makes me, well, me.  I can use my education background to serve others in need and network with people all over my community.  The experiences I have had in the two short years we have been up and running have been life-changing and as we continue to grow, I know this will continue to fuel my soul.

Narrowing down my minor commitments will be more difficult.  As a doer, it will be so hard for me to step back and not take the lead.  By nature I am an organizer.  In the past ten years I have founded a handful of groups to fulfill the needs in my life.  When my son was born and I was a new stay-at-home mom, I was lonely.  To combat the isolation, I started a moms and babies playgroup with a few other gals I met during those early months.  When we joined a large church and felt isolated as young parents, I started a mothers of young children ministry to connect with other families in our parish.  When we moved, I did it again at our new church.

See a pattern developing?!  I get an idea in my head and tend to run with it.  If I were wealthy, I would have started at least five businesses by now.  By nature my mind runs on overdrive and at times my body tends to follow.  Reigning this in will not be easy, but I am trying to focus on the activities in my life that bring my joy.  By reducing my commitments, I can spend more time baking, exercising, writing, and reading.  Hobbies tend to get shoved aside when you are overwhelmed with outside commitments and I look forward to regularly indulging in activities I enjoy.

 Relationships also tend to suffer, because there is not enough time in the day to tend to all of the responsibilities weighing you down.  I often find myself engaged in activities to better others while my family may be caught in the crossfire of an overstressed, over-scheduled mom.  Clearly this is not the way to live.  My eyes have been opened, now I mentally need to slow down.

This year of getting it done is filled with many goals.  Ironically many of those goals are meant to rid my life of overcommitting and, in turn, make decisions that align with our family purpose statement.  I hope to slow down and enjoy what is right before my eyes.  Not what may or may not happen a week, month, or year down the road.  This is a growing process and it is going to take far longer than 2015 to complete.      

This once again traces back to my word of the year:  discipline.  One must be disciplined and learn the art of saying "no."

When Seasons Change

Today I am linking up with Jill Savage and Hearts at Home for Third Thursday Thoughts.  This month the theme is:  Unleash Your Power to Rise Above.

This morning, as I was toting my two-year-old around on my hip, I randomly thought, "This is my normal."  For eight years I have been holding babies or balancing a toddler on one hip.  Having the use of one or no hands has just become the norm.  For some reason this moment that occurs so many times each day struck me:  how lucky I am to hold and carry my child.  I have been blessed to have my arms filled with four sweet kiddos to hold, soothe, carry, and snuggle for so many years.  What has been the norm for so long, may soon be fading.

Our youngest turned two this week.  Sure, two-year-olds still like to be held, but the desire to be independent soon reduces the amount of time they want to be.  I've done babies for so many years, it is hard to fathom that phase of life may be ending.  That old saying, "The days are long, but the years are short" keeps ringing in my ears.  All of those years of little sleep, nursing for hours a day, having no time to myself, and being needed by someone all.of.the.time may soon be gone.  Oh my.  How did that happen?  The bigger question, am I ready for it to end?

Life has a strange way of unfolding.  When we're in the thick of the hard seasons, the days seem to be so long, so challenging, so exhausting.  We may soon find ourselves feeling hopeless, desperate, and lost.  For me, this hard season lasted for 4 long years.  It did not start with my first or my second baby.  The hard years started with my third.  He came just 16 months after his older sister and on the day of his arrival I became the mom of three children 3 1/2 and under.  I was pretty sure I was up for the challenge, but this little blue-eyed, blonde-haired bundle of joy quickly made his presence known and not in the most pleasant of ways.

He was ornery.  He wanted to eat all of the time, every hour at night in fact, and would spend a great deal of the day and night crying.  Actually crying isn't a strong enough word.  He screamed and was inconsolable.  After six weeks of this, we figured out the culprit was dairy.  I felt strongly about nursing, so I removed dairy from my diet.  While it was challenging, I stuck to it without cheating once for over a year.  He calmed down for a bit, but then the ear infections kicked in.

I rarely slept longer than a few hours at a time.  My younger two had sixteen ear infections between them in 6 months.  I was so sleep-deprived it was not even funny.  In fact, it was dangerous.  One day, I stopped by my in-laws to drop off a few of my kids while I took my daughter to the doctor.  I got out of the van to unload them and the door was locked.  Upon trying to open the door, the van began to move forward.  I had left it in drive and it slowly rolled forward, with my children in it, right into their garage.  To this day, I still don't know how I got back in the van.  It was a terrifying experience.

That first year-and-a-half of my son's life was a blur.  Days rolled into months and before I knew it, a year.  There were plenty of beautiful, joyous moments, but they were hard to see at times due to the circumstances.  In time, we came out of the fog.  He finally started to sleep through the night at 18 months and we had a bit of a reprieve.

That summer we moved back near my parents.  I was so excited to be near my family again and felt relieved to know there would be help, if needed, somewhat nearby.  This was a welcome change and helped me feel less overwhelmed.  That summer went relatively well.  Though we struggled with some sleeping issues with our daughter who was experiencing newfound freedom in a toddler bed, we could see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Or so we thought.  Late that summer we found out we were expecting our fourth child.  While it was a bit of a surprise, I was fairly confident it wouldn't be nearly as overwhelming as the addition of our third.  Until the tides changed.

What came next rivaled the challenges of the incessant crying of our little guy.  Shortly after two he figured out how to crawl out of his crib.  He went from sleeping through the night to refusing to go to bed, nap, and woke at 4:30 A.M. for the day...for months on end.  Naturally, his behavior became difficult due to the lack of sleep and we entered into a whole new hard season of life filled with little sleep, temper tantrums, and very challenging behavior.  Throw in a pregnant mama and things went south quickly.

We struggled and struggled and struggled.  Our fuses became short.  The nap battles and bedtime battles were physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting.  There were days I put everyone into the van just to get him to sleep and have a break.  I'd pull back into the garage once he was asleep, turn off the engine, and pray I could get the older kids out without waking him.

The days were so long and the nights so short.  I was desperate, looking for the light, and all I could find was darkness.  This may sound dramatic, but I had hit rock bottom.  I had always dreamed of being a mother and raising my family, but our reality was far from the images I had conjured up in my head.  I felt like a failure and wondered how I would make it with the addition of another baby.

Well, that sweet little baby came and we did our best to "survive" during the baby phase.  For the first time ever I co-slept for the pure and simple fact I needed to sleep.  Our son's sleeping woes continued and after speaking with his pediatrician about his sleep struggles and behavior, it was suggested we try Melatonin.  It has been a game-changer.  Bedtime is no longer a struggle and the 4:30 wake-up calls have, for the most part, ended.  He continues to be high-energy and challenging at times, but the tide is turning.

While our sweet little girl brings much joy to our lives, she has also made her presence known in our family.  She's always close by and loves to be held.  Knowing she was probably our last child, I've obliged.  Two years later, though, we're starting to see the light again.  She has followed in her sibling's footsteps and not been a great sleeper, but I'm hopeful one of these days she'll start to consistently sleep through the night again.  This too shall pass and soon the baby and toddler phase will be over.

I'm not going to lie, there were times I was convinced I was not cut out for this and I would not make it through the day.  Many times I felt like a failure.  While never clinically diagnosed, I experienced bouts of depression and had a hard time getting through the day because I was so exhausted.  All of the idyllic dreams I had created in my mind did not come to fruition.  Motherhood is messy and no matter how much we'd like to feel like we're in control, the fact of the matter is simple:  we're not.

When I reflect on these challenging years, I see beauty and joy mixed with sadness and despair.  I have been home with my kids for their entire lives and while I haven't been perfect, I have done my best.  I have been challenged more than I ever thought possible, but I have overcome countless obstacles and persevered.  Motherhood is a tough job and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.  Quitting isn't an option, so embrace the messy beautiful and push through those hard seasons.  There is light at the end of the tunnel and all of the joy and struggles are worth it.

Though it makes me sad, I believe I have begun to accept this season of life will be ending soon.  A new season is upon us and it is time to look forward to the next phase of life.  I pray that sleep will come more easily for all of us and we can enjoy the new adventures that lie ahead.  I look forward to our newfound freedom.  My husband and I have begun to schedule monthly date nights and I do my best to spend some time with my girlfriends each month.  Last month I even spent a night away with them to attend the Hearts at Home conference.  It was amazing.  We have some awesome vacations planned and I look forward to traveling as a family and making memories that will last a lifetime.

I know we have a life full of joy and challenges ahead of us, but I am sure we will persevere and overcome whatever arises.  In my heart, I know He only gives us what we can handle.  I guess He had a lot of faith in me during these early years.  It hasn't always been easy, but I wouldn't change it for the world.