No Need to Cringe When You Hear this "F" Word Anymore

Do you cringe when you hear the "f" word?  No, I'm not talking about that "f" word, friend.  I am talking about this "f" word:  finances.

One of the greatest areas of achievement we've had as a couple this year is in the finance department.  This tends to be a touchy topic and can make people very uncomfortable.  I am here to tell you, it doesn't have to be.  If you're feeling stressed about money and unsure how to make a positive change, there is a way out.  You'll need to be committed and patient, but I promise if you stick with it and have some discipline, you'll see results.

For years, we thought we were decent money managers, but after reading the Total Money Makeover, we realized we had a lot of room for improvement.  When my husband and I made the commitment to follow Dave Ramsey's plan to financial freedom, we didn't know how working through the steps would impact our lives.  It has been nothing but positive.  There have been fewer money-related arguments and our anxiety level has been greatly reduced.

Having a budget and following a financial plan doesn't mean you have to stop having fun.  We can't always do everything we get the itch to do, but we've still had plenty of good times along this journey.  We've had date nights, vacations, and plenty of fun outings with the kids.  The only difference now?  We've budgeted for them!

We are following a new rule:  if we don't have the cash, we don't buy it.  This is one of the hardest parts of the project.  A new TV has been on our list all year, but the time to buy hasn't come yet.  I am sure the day we finally get that new TV, we'll leave feeling accomplished and happy, rather than guilty and stressed about where the money to pay for it will come from.

This all stems back to my word for the year:  discipline.  Patience and the ability to say no will go a long way.

We've worked hard this year and made significant progress through these steps.  In a few days, we'll have fully funded our emergency plan and be moving on to the next steps to financial freedom.  Our ultimate goal is to have our home paid off by the time our oldest heads off to college.  We've got ten years to get there, but by staying committed to our plan, I'm confident we can do it.

It is amazing to have a clear plan and be working toward very tangible goals.  If you struggle with money, please do yourself a favor and read Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover.  It is certainly not rocket science, but reading through it and creating a plan that works for you will be worth your time.

My husband and I wish we would have started this years ago, but on the positive side:  better late than never.  Let me know if you take the plunge and share your success stories right here at 2015:  The Year to Get Sh*t Done.  

The Best Yes May Really Be a No

We've made it to mid-September in this year to get sh*t done and I have to say, I am really looking forward to the last few months of this adventure.  2015 has been a productive and eye-opening year on some many fronts and I am thankful for the decision, made so many months ago, to get some goals on paper and intentionally work to achieve them.

That little yellow notebook holds some big-time goals and ambitions and I am so thrilled with the progress I've made as an individual, wife, mother, and friend.  My husband and I have grown as a couple and worked as a team to work toward achieving some amazing goals and milestones for our family.  I believe this is only the beginning and there will definitely be a 2016:  The Year to Get Even More Sh*t Done!

This second half of the year has brought some really positive changes for me emotionally.  After really looking at my life and all of the commitments I had managed to pile on myself, I took a step back and made some changes.  My stress and anxiety levels have gone down significantly and I have gained the most precious gift of all:  time.  The newfound gift of time has lead me to the start of a new and exciting journey:  small business owner.  Life is pretty exciting right now.

You see, sometimes, even though you have the best of intentions, some commitments are just not great for your overall well-being.  As I've shared before, last year I eagerly took a seat on my kids' school's PTA board and worked my ass off all year on fundraisers, social functions, and planning for monthly meetings with a few of my friends.  We picked up the slack when no one else was willing to give of their time and did our best to support our school to the best of our ability.  It was exhausting and took up way too much of my time and, outside of a few parents and the teaching staff, a completely thankless unpaid "job."

My family suffered.  I suffered and in the end, I decided to step down and part ways with the PTA, at least for this year.  Fact of the matter is, I am burnt out and feel I can support my kids' school in a different, more manageable way this year, and truth be told I feel no guilt for my decision.

It's all about perspective.

Fact of the matter is, my kids are blessed to be able to attend school in a top-notch school district.  Each day they go to school well-rested with their bellies full, clean clothes on their backs, their homework completed, and a hug and kiss from their mama.  So many children all over the world cannot say the same.

My husband and I take an active role in our children's education.  School comes first in our home.  We have expectations and make sure our kids are reading each night, practicing their math facts, doing their homework, and getting enough downtime and rest to be ready to learn each day.  We live a privileged life where valuing education is realistic.  So many parents cannot say the same.  They're struggling to find shelter, get food on the table, and care for their families.
 
Personally, my best yes has actually been a no.  Rather than fretting about this or that for the upcoming fall fundraiser, I am able to take the time each day to sit down with each of my kids, discuss their day, look at their schoolwork, and ensure they are completing their homework.

I can make dinner and sit down with my family each night instead of rushing off to planning meetings.  I can spend my evening relaxing, reading a book, and chatting with my husband.  I can go to bed and sleep peacefully without fretting about what I am forgetting.

Last fall I was being pulled in a million directions and not giving my kids the full attention and support they deserved, because I was overwhelmed and over-scheduled.  It's been a great lesson for me and one I won't soon forget.

At the end of the day, my family is my priority.  They deserve the best me and it is hard to be at your best when you're stretched too thin.  If you have too much on your plate or have committed to an organization or activity that brings you little joy, don't feel guilty for making the decision to walk away.

Life's too short to sweat the small things.  Enjoy the gifts you've been given and share your best version of yourself with those you love.   Your family will thank you.

 

     

This School Year I'm NOT Going to Suck...Too Much

Today officially marks the last day of summer vacation.  My kids have been on leave from their schooling duties for 85 days.  Sure, we have two more days with the weekend, but it's Friday.  The last week day they will be home for an extended period of time until Christmas.  We've had a fun summer filled with baseball, playing outside, two LONG family vacations, swimming, and bumming around the house with no schedule.  It hasn't always been sunshine and roses, but I think it's safe to say we made some serious memories and had plenty of fun along the way.

Monday will be here before we know it and I'll be sending my first two kids off to school.  Thursday my third will join his older siblings and we'll be off and running.  This school year I am making a vow not to suck...too much.

I'm going to get up before my kids in the morning and take some time for myself.  Reading, running, exercising at home.  Something.  Just for me.  I would like to replace overtired, stressed, crabby morning Mommy with tolerable, pretty nice, rested Mommy who has started the day off on the right foot.  Kids, take note.  That means you need to stay in your rooms until the time your dad and I have set as an appropriate time to start your morning.  Please, life will be so much better if you do.

We're going to walk to school (well at least until the weather stinks).  That means we'll need to be prepared for school.  Clothes out the night before, homework done and put in backpacks, and lunches prepared.  Joining our friends for a brief walk before the school day begins will be a great way to start off our day.

I will spend my time pursuing my passions.  This is the year I will finally start my very own business (wahoo!!!) and the charity I co-founded will officially be a 501(c)3 organization.  The future looks bright and filled with promise.  My bucket will be filled with these two endeavors and I cannot wait to get at it.

I'm going to say "no" to outside commitments.  Stepping down from the PTA board was my first step (may I say I have not regretted that decision once!) and now it is time to take it just a step further.  I will carefully offer my time to volunteer in activities I enjoy, those that fit my schedule, and most importantly, will not cause crazy amounts of stress.  If all else fails, I will write a check.

I will be organized.  Weekly menus will be planned, grocery shopping will be done while the kids are at school, and meal prep will be done before they get home.  Well, most days anyway.  I am hoping this will restore some sort of peace during the late afternoon and early evening after they've arrived home from school.  With everyone getting into the routine and being a bit tired and crabby, this could make or break our evenings.

 I'll be open to suggestions for fun family activities and extracurricular activities.  If they fit our schedule, don't cost a fortune, and provide exercise or improving a skill, we can talk about it.  Don't get me wrong, we're not going to overload our schedules, but as the kids age I would like to consider their interests and suggestions with an open mind.

Perhaps most importantly, we'll schedule social time for the whole family.  Time with friends, for the young and old, is good for the soul.  Our fall calendar is already filled with fun for the old.  It might sound a little crazy, but our sanity depends on it.  Mama needs to get out of the house and have some fun.  We have been blessed with a great group of neighborhood friends who all have younger kids, too.  We're all eager to break free now and then to refuel our tanks.

 I suppose I should take a look at some things for the kids, too.  Time to bring back the movie nights and throw in some outings to the local museums, parks, and indoor swimming pool.  

There it is.  My plan filled with good intention to not suck this school year.  Last year I was stressed out, overcommitted, out of shape, and tired.  This year IS going to be different.  I'm going to make sure of it.

Here's to more rest, more fun, and a more pleasant household for all!  Welcome back school (and a much quieter house!).

The Next Chapter

Summer is winding down and I must admit, I am looking forward to a little less chaos and noise around the house during the day.  I love my children to death, but they are a force to be reckoned with when they are all together day after day.  By the end of every summer I vow to enroll my kids in some fun activities the next summer, but I don't.  Make a large note, girl...do it!

This particular fall brings about a big change for our family.  Three of our kids will be in school full-time, which means a huge shift in dynamics for me personally during the day:  I will just be left with my youngest.  I haven't had just one child at home in years.  One would think I would want to take full advantage of this and soak up the sanity that is bound to come with this change, but this will not be the case.

I continue to find myself restless.  In fact, if I'm brutally honest, I have been restless since I was home alone with just one child all of those years ago.  It is simply my personality and as hard as I try to stay in the moment and not look ahead, the truth of the matter is I can't.  By nature I am a doer.

For years I have poured myself into different projects to feel fulfilled in a different capacity other than wife and mother.  I frequently question if staying at home was the right decision for me and my kids.  Most would say yes, but there is always that creeping doubt that maybe I would be a better mother if I had chosen a different path.

This staying home gig is no joke.  It is exhausting and tries my patience in ways I never knew possible.  There are days I just want a break from the tantrums, fighting, and noise.  A job outside of the home, though it comes with it's share of challenges as well, seems so very appealing.

We recently returned from an extended road trip and while staying at a hotel I saw so many career men and women gathering in the lobby for breakfast.  There must have been a big national meeting for some company, as they all seemed to know each other.  As I watched these people exchange pleasantries and share updates about their families, I couldn't help but picture myself in their shoes.

What would life be like if I had a career which involved traveling and meeting new people?  Would I feel less restless if I was out there pursuing this path or would I miss my family terribly?

For now, I won't know the answer to these questions anytime soon.  I have no plan to join the corporate world where national sales meetings occur or a job which requires me to travel.  I do, however, have plans to pursue the business venture I started working on several months ago.

If all goes well, I'll soon have a career other than stay-at-home mom, and perhaps those nagging restless thoughts will finally dwindle.  While I'm not ready to officially share what this business venture is just yet, I will say it certainly capitalizes on my job experience over the past 8 years.

In just 13 days the noise level in my house will decrease ten-fold.  There will not be toys strewn all over the floor, sports games being played, and towns being built of blocks.  Lazy mornings in pajamas with breakfast being eaten whenever, will soon give way to the hustle and bustle of getting ready for school and packing lunches.

I know a few weeks after school starts I'll miss my kids.  Such is the cycle we are constantly living.  This time, though, I'll be busy working on starting a career of my own which will hopefully benefit our family in more ways than one.  Only time will tell, bit I'd rather take the risk and get the game rather than watch from the sidelines.

It is the year to get sh*t done.  This next adventure is pretty big sh*t.

Cheers to another chapter closing and new beginnings!

What Was I Thinking, Summer?

48 days ago I was filled with anticipation and thrilled summer vacation was finally upon us.  We picked our kids up from school, finished packing our van, and headed east to the beach on an eleven day road trip.  Our time at the beach was glorious.  So.much.fun.

We returned, took a week to recover, and got into a routine.  Job charts, poker chips, regulated electronic time, limited TV time.  I was on it.  My kids were reading, playing outside, being creative, doing extra chores...you name it.

We had designated school time.  Subjects they wanted to learn more about.  Workbooks.  I was prepared.  All in the name of earning a poker chip.  Earn 5 chips?  You've earned yourself some electronic time.  Bravo!

Fast-forward to mid-July.  My enthusiasm has waned, my fight is gone, and I just don't give a sh*t.  Can we watch a show?  Sure (if it means there will be no fighting, screaming, or wild children for 20 minutes).  Can I play the iPad mini, Kindle, Wii???...yes.  Please.  Just let me have some time.  Alone.  To read.  To think.  To do anything but listen to the chaos.  I'll even take the timer off for you!

My foot is injured.  I can hardly walk.  My husband is traveling.  Dare I say I'd do anything for a day of putting my feet up and doing nothing?  Instead I've schlepped my kids to swim lessons, made a wonderful dinner most of them complained about, and put them to bed later than I had wanted.

Oh, Summer.  Will you ever live up to the expectations I set in May?  Highly unlikely.  Perhaps next year I will learn my lesson.  I'll just let them run wild and throw any and all expectation out the door.  Until then, I'll continue to let things slide.  They have me outnumbered...the sooner I face the facts the better.

On the bright side, 40 days until school starts!  Then I'll be wishing I had these lazy, chaotic, loud days back!

The Halfway Point

I'm halfway through The Year to Get It Done!  The first half of the year has been a mix of enthusiasm and motivation mixed with frustration and feeling completely overwhelmed.  This year is a bit of a whole-life makeover and some areas have seen better growth than others.  I suppose this is to be expected when taking on a project of this size.  Consistency and balance are hard to achieve when you throw in a husband, four children, and running a household, but when I reflect on the past six months it is evident this project has had positive outcomes on both an individual and family level.

Many goals have been set and tweaked in nearly every area of life.  From physical fitness to relationships and all things in between, I have carefully considered the personal changes I'd like to make and goals I'd like to achieve.  This process lead me to my word for the year:  discipline.  I would love to say I've stayed the course each day, but there have been more setbacks and struggles than I can count.  There are days I have wanted to throw in the towel and dismiss this project all together, but my inner voice encourages me to keep going.  To fight through the struggles and persevere.  After all, nothing worth doing is ever easy.

There have been some big wins already this year:  we became debt-free (other than our house) and are making great strides building up our six month emergency savings plan, date nights and outings with friends have become a regular occurrence each month, I ran my first 5-mile race (and recently signed up for the 7-mile race which was my ultimate goal), we've taken one family vacation and are gearing up for another, and we have officially filed for a 501(c)3 status for the charity I co-founded.

Many other small goals have also been met and each day and I continue to pray and reflect on discovering who I am outside of "mom" and "wife."  I'm transitioning into a different season of life and working to create a business which allows me put the skills I possess to good use, pursue my passions, help others, and still allow me the flexibility to be here for my family.  Adding to our family financially will also reap many benefits and help us achieve our goals.    

As I head into the second half of The Year to Get It Done I am filled with a renewed sense of determination.  I am ready to pull my notebook out again, review my goals, and create a realistic plan to achieve them.  I pray for discipline and the ability to forge ahead and be able to clearly see the results of the work I have put in.

I look forward to the journey and watching our story unfold...one day at a time.

      

 

Uncertainty

Since returning from vacation, I have spent most of the week feeling the restlessness and wonder creep back in.  The months of hard work and preparation for our trip are over.  The goals I had set to earn money for the trip were met.  Our purpose was clear:  sit on the beach, enjoy time as a family, and soak up the sun.  Vacation was relaxing.  Returning to the daily grind has not been.

Too often I struggle with focusing on what I want to do with my life.  I took for granted the simplicity of it all those years ago when I graduated from college.  It was pretty cut and dry then:  graduate and  find a teaching job.  Now?  Not so much.

In the fall, three of my kids will be in school full-time leaving my sweet little toddler home solo.  I can see the next life phase slowly coming into focus, but I feel so lost and without direction.  There are many different business avenues I'd love to explore, interests I'd love to pursue, and, of course, continuing to grow the charity I love so dearly, but I struggle with focus and pinpointing the direction I want to move in.

It's so very, very frustrating and exhausting.  For as long as I can remember my path has been relatively clear:  student, teacher, mother...you get the picture.  The lack of clarity drives me crazy and for a Type A, idea-filled mind like mine, it is kind of torturous.  I know, I know.  It's all about the journey, but sometimes it is hard to patient when you want to go full-speed ahead.  

I am confident my teaching days are over, at least in a school setting.  So much has changed since I left the profession eight years ago and there are so many laws and requirements I disagree with, I just don't think it's for me anymore.  So, where does that leave me?

I can easily pinpoint what brings me happiness, joy, and fulfillment.  I am just not sure how to transition it into more than an an unpaid hobby.  I didn't major in business, after all, so whatever route I take will probably not be crystal clear or easy.

In the end, I want a career that makes me feel alive.  I want to wake up each day feeling passionate and knowing my work is helping someone else.  Most of all, I want to feel my purpose is being fulfilled without putting too much stress and strain on my family.

Let the journey continue...hopefully a clear direction will present itself soon.