Late last summer my oldest son decided he wanted to grow his hair out. He is really into Star Wars and wanted to look like Anakin Skywalker. As his hair grew longer, I would catch him admiring his locks in the mirror and the day it hit his shirt collar, he proudly proclaimed he did, indeed, look like Anakin. While we supported him in his quest to become a real-life Anakin, we told him he would have to cut his hair for the summer. He was disappointed.
A few months ago I shared an organization called St. Baldrick's with him. This event happens nationwide and is a fundraiser for childhood cancer research. We talked about Jack and how this event helped kids, like Jack, who have cancer. After a little encouragement my son decided he would shave his head at a local St. Baldrick's event. He set a $500 fundraising goal and began asking family and friends to support him. The week before the event, he surpassed his goal by $15. He was so proud and excited that he had met his goal.
Yesterday afternoon I went downstairs to gather the kids so we could get ready to head to the event. The minute I said it was time to go get his head shaved, my sweet little boy began to cry and before long he had worked himself into quite the fit. The reality that the hair he had grown out for so long was going to be shaved off was hard for him. He loved that long hair and was so sad he would no longer look like Anakin. He had made the decision he was not going to go. We wondered if maybe this was just too much pressure for our introverted, anxious son, but we didn't give up.
My husband and I each took our turns talking with him. We told him he was doing an amazing thing for other children and his heart would feel so full when he was done. We talked about following through on the promise he had made to others through his fundraising efforts. We shared the encouraging messages he had received from those who donated money. We talked about the children with cancer who were very ill or had passed away from the disease and how those children didn't get a choice about the way their hair looked.
We finally got him to agree to go and check the event out. When we arrived, his heels were still firmly dug into the ground. We got into the event room and he realized he would be seated in front of a crowd while getting his head shaved and his resistance bumped up another notch. We continued to encourage him and did our best to be patient and stay calm. And then it happened. He started to ease up a bit. The nervousness and anxiety started to lighten. I asked him if there was something special he would like to do if he got his head shaved. He thought about it and said, "I'd like to use my gift card and get something on Amazon." Deal.
In my heart, I want my children to help others without receiving anything in return, because it's the right thing to do. Perhaps my expectations are too high for children so young. My son was doing a great deed for others. He had raised a lot of money and was parting with something very special to him: his Anakin Skywalker hair. He wasn't asking for anything over-the-top. He just wanted us to take the time to sit down with him, look through Amazon, and choose something to spend his birthday gift card on. This seemed reasonable, so we agreed.
All of the anxiety, nervousness, and uncertainty went away. He proudly put on his t-shirt and walked up to his seat when his name was called. When the stylist started shaving his hair off, he didn't even flinch. My sweet son sat in that chair longer than any of the other shavees in his time slot. He had so much hair it took a long time for her to shave it all off! People in the crowd cheered him on, he got some high fives from others, and even found himself on the local ten o'clock news.
When she was done, my son looked at us with a big smile and his proud mama had tears in her eyes. I cannot tell you how full my heart was to see my young son struggle and persevere. He fulfilled his promise to those who supported him in his fundraising campaign and I could see from the look in his eyes that his heart was full, too. When he was done, he went over to a poster displaying photos of local children with cancer. He looked at those pictures and he knew what he had done was going to make a difference.
Today I sent my newly shaved son off to school. He was proudly wearing his bright orange St. Baldrick's t-shirt and a button that said, "Ask me why I'm bald." He'll tell his friends he had his head shaved to help kids with cancer. He'll also share with them he did it for a very special little boy named Jack.
We did sit down last night and look through Amazon. He chose a Star Wars Jedi costume. I think it will be the perfect reminder of his St. Baldrick's experience.
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