Silencing the Critic

I gotta tell you all.  This "year of people" is going to be filled with many rewarding moments, but it is also shaping up to have many, many challenges along the way, too.

The cynicism and negativity that encompasses our country right now is almost unbearable.  It has spread its ugly wings into nearly every facet of our lives and it is such an uncomfortable, undesirable place to be.  Imagine how different our lives would be if we were surrounded by people who looked for the best in others.  Who assumed good things would happen rather than expecting the worst.  Imagine how great it would be if people spent more time building others up rather than tearing them down.

Our world would be much more peaceful and civil if people woke each day and made one simple choice:  to be kind to others.

This negative, downward spiral seems to be everywhere.  From politics to the news coverage, schools to places of business, neighborhoods and communities, and everywhere in between.  For some reason people tend to focus on the worst case scenario rather than the best.  They speak down to others and exert their power rather than listening and working side-by-side.  When they don't agree, they take to slinging words and dig in their heels with little to no willingness to compromise.  How are we ever going to move forward as a community, state, or country when very few are willing to listen to or work with those whose opinions differ?

Oh, it is so sad.

I have dealt with this on a personal level more times than I'd like to count and if you've put yourself out there at all,  I'm willing to bet you have too.  You see, by nature I'm a doer.  I have a difficult time sitting idly by waiting for something to happen.  For someone else to step up.  For a change to occur.  I inherited this trait from my father and as I grow older, I see this more and more.  My dad worked hard to make his community a better place and I aspire to do the same.  I am fortunate to have a great example to follow.  

I like to solve problems.  I enjoy creating groups to meet a need in my community and connecting people to one another.  There are times I step in to fill a void or I get a group up and running and, once it's established, step away.  Other times, when there is a cause I am extremely passionate about, I set the plan into motion and work tirelessly to make it successful and find a way to make it grow. The creation and success of From Cover to Cover is a prime example.  

It is simply how I am wired and though it can be frustrating and exhausting along the way, it is all done for the right reasons and comes from a good place.  I think it's safe to say that is how most of the doers out there feel.    

That is why unfair judgement and negativity can be so devastating.  The pressure for perfectionism and the unrealistic expectations that accompany that is likely why few people are willing to put themselves out there to be part of a movement for change.  It is why we have a lot of doers doing nothing at all. 

Being a doer is not easy.  I'll be the first to admit I am easily offended.  My feelings have been hurt more times than I can count and I really struggle with the criticism and pessimism that often accompanies the suggestion of change.  What bothers me the most, though, are people who make assumptions before bothering to find out the facts.  People who close the door before they even listen to what you have to say.  It is the trend of our society and if we're ever going to make positive progress, this mindset needs to change.  Let us be open-minded, tolerant, and positive.  Above all, let us be kind.

One of my favorite authors, Brene Brown, starts her best book (in my opinion) Daring Greatly with this quote from Theodore Roosevelt:

Last week my husband and I spoke to a group of college students at our alma mater.  We concluded our presentation with this quote, because we truly believe in being the person in the arena.  We believe in change and positive progress.  Whether you fail or succeed, it is better to be face down in the arena marred with dust and sweat and blood than choosing to do nothing for fear of creating something less than perfect or failure.  

The only thing worse is being the critic in the stands.

Deep down everyone is a doer.  I hope we inspired those college students to get into the arena.  I hope you will get in the arena, too.  I'm certain your little corner of the world will benefit from that voice, that whisper urging you to get out there and try.  There will be people around every corner who will do their best to deter you, make you second-guess yourself, and cover you with their cloud of negativity, but if you dig deep enough and believe in yourself, you'll overcome those obstacles.  You may fail a time or two, but stay positive.  And kind.  One day you'll get there.  

The day will come when you'll look out at the critics in the stands and smile knowing you've succeeded.